Negative thoughts are common, but it’s crucial not to let them overwhelm our emotions. When we encounter such thoughts, we can pause to question their validity instead of accepting them as facts. This method of putting thoughts on trial can help us discern their accuracy and manage unhelpful thinking.
Realistic Thinking and Detective Thinking are two approaches to this process. As we learned in our last post, Realistic Thinking seeks to align thoughts with reality, offering a balanced view by correcting exaggerated or biased notions. It’s useful for immediate thought adjustment and is often employed in the early stages of therapy to address simpler cognitive distortions.
In contrast, Detective Thinking, or Socratic Questioning, involves a deeper analysis. It uses structured questioning to probe the validity and origins of our thoughts, much like a detective examining evidence. This method is better suited for complex, chronic negative thinking patterns, especially those with unclear origins. It encourages a thorough investigation into the foundations of one’s beliefs, enhancing self-awareness and addressing long-standing issues.
For example, if a child believes that no one likes them, Realistic Thinking would encourage them to recall instances of peers being kind, helping them revise their thought to “Some classmates do like playing with me.” Detective Thinking would delve deeper, asking why they feel unliked and challenging underlying misconceptions with questions like, “What makes you think nobody likes you because of one bad day?”
The Analogy: Detective Work
Now that we have a clear understanding of how Detective Thinking differs from Realistic Thinking, we can set the stage for our investigation. Drawing parallels between detective work and managing worries can make the process more engaging and relatable for children. Much like a great detective, we aim to gather evidence, examine clues, and arrive at logical conclusions. By adopting this mindset, children can feel empowered to take control of their thoughts and emotions.
The Detective Toolkit
To fully embrace the role of a Worry Detective, children can assemble their toolkit, including a magnifying glass, notebook or list of questions to answer, and even a makeshift trench coat for added flair. These props serve as tangible reminders of their newfound investigative prowess.
The Interrogation / List of Questions
Let’s tackle this concept with a real-life example: Meet Vincent, a 9-year-old boy who often worries about going to school. He’s afraid of not making friends in his new class after moving to a different neighbourhood. His worries have been affecting his mood and concentration, making it challenging for him to enjoy his day-to-day activities.
1. What is the evidence this thought is true?
Encourage children to scrutinize their worries and seek concrete evidence to support them. This fosters critical thinking and discourages the acceptance of baseless assumptions.
2. What is the evidence that this thought is not true?
Equally important is the examination of evidence contradicting the worry. This balanced approach helps children gain perspective and challenge distorted thinking patterns.
3. What else could happen? List it all.
Encourage brainstorming of alternative outcomes, expanding their awareness beyond the narrow confines of their initial worry. This exercise cultivates flexibility in thinking and resilience in coping with uncertainty.
4. What is likely to happen?
By realistically assessing the probability of different outcomes, children can develop a more grounded understanding of their worries. This empowers them to differentiate between realistic concerns and exaggerated fears.
5. What happened when I had this worry in the past?
Reflecting on past experiences provides valuable insights into the outcomes of previous worries. Children can draw upon their own resilience and problem-solving skills, recognizing their ability to overcome challenges.
6. If the worry came true, how would we deal with it?
Encourage proactive thinking by exploring potential coping strategies and problem-solving approaches. This empowers children to develop a sense of agency and confidence in managing future uncertainties.
7. What would I tell a friend who was worried about this?
Adopting an external perspective enables children to offer themselves the same compassion and rational advice they would extend to a friend. This fosters self-compassion and reduces self-criticism.
Indirect Ways to Illustrate this Skill
Children can often grasp complex concepts when they are presented in familiar mediums, such as storybooks. Discussing a character — someone external to themselves — can make it easier for children to generate evidence for and against the character’s thoughts. Here is an excellent example of a book where you can practice the skill of Detective Thinking on every page:
A parent can also demonstrate Detective Thinking by sharing their own thoughts, like ‘I’m a bad driver.’ They might analyze this aloud, asking, ‘What evidence supports this?’ and counter it with positive experiences: ‘Actually, I’ve driven many times without any issues.’ This approach teaches children to question and rethink irrational thoughts, showing that everyone has them. It also fosters a trusting environment where children feel comfortable discussing their concerns and learning coping strategies.
Practical Tools to Get Started
It’s helpful for us and our kids to see this on paper and list our evidence for and against each unhelpful thought. This strategy will also help them in the future when they are faced with negative, Red Thoughts. After guided practice with a parent or counsellor, they can begin to naturally challenge their thoughts. To aid in this practice, here are some worksheets that can help you and your child start practicing Detective Thinking. These resources are designed to guide you through the process of listing evidence and considering different viewpoints together:
- Think CBT – Putting Your Thoughts on Trial
- Therapist Aid – Socratic Questions
- Therapist Aid – The Cognitive Model: Practice Exercises
- Therapist Aid – Core Beliefs
Incorporating Detective Thinking into our repertoire of CBT strategies equips children with invaluable skills for navigating the labyrinth of worries. By embracing curiosity, critical thinking, and resilience, they can unravel the mysteries of their mind and emerge as empowered problem solvers. Through this process, they not only challenge their worries but also cultivate a deeper understanding of themselves and their capabilities.
Next in our 10-part series on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy strategies, we explore the concept of “Setting a Worry Time.” This technique is designed to help manage anxiety by allocating a specific time to focus on worries, thereby preventing them from disrupting daily activities. We’ll discuss how this method helps compartmentalize concerns and allows for more controlled and rational processing of anxieties.