Raising Kids in a Digital Age
Screen safety and managing screen time is a huge topic for every parent/caregiver these days. I know that in my household, there are many discussions with my husband and my children about what screen time looks like, what apps and programs are age appropriate, and safety around online use. It is confusing for us parents/caregivers because we didn’t grow up in this digital age. Luckily, there are resources out there now and we are learning more about how to help our children navigate the digital world.
I went to a great online workshop put out by the Coquitlam School District recently. There were many takeaways for me from this workshop and I wanted to share a few with you. First of all, there was a message from Fraser Health and the Canadian Pediatric Society that recommended no screen time for children under 2, less than one hour a day for children 2-5 years, and approximately two hours a day for children over 5 years old. I recognize that this can be difficult to maintain especially as our children age.
Part of the workshop was around sextortion which is: “a type of blackmail where someone threatens to send a sexual image or video of your child to friends, family or other people if they don’t provide more sexual content, pay them or do what they ask.” One of the slides suggested ways to help prevent sextortion which was: to build trust with our children; kids and teens need to know that it’s safe to come to you even when they have made a mistake; instill confidence and foster independence to foster healthy decision making. This message really spoke to me- it is so important that our kids know we are a safe person to talk to so that they feel comfortable sharing their mistakes. If they don’t feel this way, they will hide it or share with a peer instead.
Another part of the workshop that spoke to me was the discussion around taking devices away. As a parent, taking a device away can feel like the right thing to do as a consequence or if we are worried about digital use. In the presentation I learned that since our children live in this digital world, they use technology to stay connected and it is inherent to their social development, so taking devices away can actually cause more harm. Further, kids are going to find a way around these rules anyways, so the most important thing we can do as caregivers is build TRUST. Some of the ways that they suggested parents and caregivers help to monitor their child’s online activity and create that trust is to: spend time online with your child, have them teach you about the apps and games that they are using, and ask your child open ended questions such as: Who are your online friends? What is the difference between online friends and real friends? How would you answer someone online if they asked you for a photo of yourself? These conversations that we have with our children are most important. Lastly, the workshop talked about how to create limits with technology. The suggestions were: be firm and consistent, have clear boundaries and always include the “why”, keep technology out of the bedroom and bathroom, get involved in your child’s digital life, and become digitally literate. Some great resources that I have found and recommend are: Thorn for Parents (website), Media Smarts (website), “The Tech Solution” a book by Shimi K. Kang, and “Raising Digitally Responsible Youth” a handbook by SST.
Remember: Brentwood Park will be hosting an online digital safety workshop through Plea (Children of the Streets) on zoom on Thursday Feb 29th at 6:30pm. A reminder email with the zoom link will be coming out again next week.