Akira addiction: problems of our modern world

A recent affliction has befallen many of us, spreading like the plague. No one is safe. No matter how many reverent haiku’s about the aforementioned furrball we delete; no matter how many eyes we close, thoughts we avert, or ears we plug: there is no question. This classroom menace has spread like wildfire, leaving the most thoughtful and quiet of students blubbering messes in the face of our over-massaged semi-classroom pet. There has never been a horror like this. Never have so many innocents fallen victim to such a terror.

Symptoms may include:

  • Leaving to coddle Mr. Akira at such frequent intervals they could well be judged insane;
  • Laughing over nearly everything our dog does while within a 20 meter radius of the victim;
  • Taking extreme measures to pet the dog while walking, especially under tables;
  • Commenting on an apparent abundance of “cuteness” when akira is acting in a normal fashion, or in other words constantly making note of it even at the most benign moments;

In extreme cases symptoms may include:

  • Refusal to do anything except amiably spoil a rather rotund husky;
  • Reverence of Mr. Akira as the all powerful leader of our universe and bringer of light.

As you can see, Akira addiction is a highly dangerous disease that must be quarantined before it moves beyond our classroom.

Sincerely,

Sammuel S. A. Sirenn-Song.

 

-”A truly horrific problem, finally brought to life”. A semi-anonymous human being.

-”A complete Lie! Akira is cute and- AWWWW look at Akira!”. An Akira fan club member.

-”wow! ur so amazing at everything you do. i love all your work, your the best”. -Mom

 


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